Seeing a guy for 3 months and...

[agathabieniek@yahoo.com]

I'm seeing a guy for 3 months now.. Going into this dating , he told me how he's bad w/relationships and didn't have a serious relationship for ab. 6 years.. The thing is, my last long term was also 6 years ago. The point is, he likes being single, 'cause he's busy w/his career, client entertainment, really close w/his family, he visits them once or twice a week to hangout for a day. He's always on a go and doesn't want a realtionship to be in a "way".. He doesn't want the responsibility of it and the drama/possible issues that come down the road. We hit the 3 month mark, and we had a talk last night.. He said that he likes me a lot, and honestly I feel that and he's a great guy who compliments me all the time and is honest.  I know it in my gut, and I'm really really good when it comes to gut feeling/woman intuition.. Anyways, he told me that this is when he starts liking me more and he enjoys the time with me, BUT, he doesn't want to take it to the next level. He knows that if he does, things might progress and then it won't be simple and easy as he likes things to be. He knows what relationships mean and he's doesn't want to pretty much deal with it. He likes his life stress-free and easy.. The stress from work he deals with, but he has an option when it comes to a relationship.. he also said that he doesn't know what he wants, and he's 38!!!! Also, marriage might or nt be in his future....  I'm a bit shocked, 'cause how can a guy not be willing to take a chance on a girl he likes? I mean women do it all the time, 'cause we know that if the good guy comes around, we better grab him.. I know men are different and they don't think like women do. IS it possible that this guy is the ultimate bachelor?? Also, he told me that it's up to me if I want to try to see where this goes next, 'cause he just want to tell me how he feels and how he is so that I know . He had the talk w/me 'cause he does like me, otherwise he would just let me go if I didn't mean anything to him. Why are guy, especially at this age, so scared to take the next step? Is there anything that woman can do? The only thing I can imagine is that we take is slow and I give him his space.. He did told me that he is scared to loose the freedom once he's in a relationship.. What do u think?

[gregg]

Why are guy, especially at this age, so scared to take the next step?
He might have had a bad experience in the past and more importantly it sounds like he is happy with the way his life is now. He sees no need to get into a committed relationship where he sees there are problems.

Is there anything that woman can do?
Pretty much the answer is no. If at some point he changes his mind from some internal decision, then he might be ready.

[solodolo]

It sounds to me like you already know what to do...

I do believe and this is just my personal opinion, based on my personal experience...that you should lay low for awhile...maybe you should start dating other men to kinda take the pressure from wanting to be with this man soo badly...

He's already told you that he's not looking to take your friendship to the next level...now in todays day and age, when two adults date...there is usually sex involved...

Do you want to be treated like his concubine??

It probably wont do any good to give him any ultimatiums either...try to remain calm and cool...please dont loose your cool with him behind this...

Ignore a few of his phone calls...to only return them hours or days later...tell him NO when he asks you out a few times...

You dont have to tell him why...

If in fact, he IS wanting anything more serious with you, then your backing off well make him step up...because he cant stand the thought of another man making you happy...because thats what he wants to do!!  

I do hope that my advice helps you in some way or another...remember that life is like one big experiement...you find something that works for you...keep at it...and never ever forget that men love a chase....make him step his game up...make him show YOU that he's worthy to be with YOU and NOT the other way around.